Sunday, January 15, 2017

6 Ways to Deal With Lack of Success Depression

This post is for both individuals who are in a career and entrepreneurs.  Nothing zaps inner drive and ambition more quickly than a bout of "lack of success" depression.  I'm not sure if there is a better name for the feeling you get when you look back and notice that all you've done is spin your wheels on your endeavors.  I guess you can also call it, failure.

The Number Two Reason For Lack Of Success | Achieve Property With ...

I turned 40 last year.  I achieved considerable success before turning 30, becoming a high school vice principal at 28.  This is when I was stuck in the career "matrix" and saw myself rising the education ranks even higher.  Superintendent?  Nope!  The entrepreneurship bug infected me at 35.  The seven years in between I spent learning personal finance and everything investing, dabbling in the stock market.  What was happening to me is that more learning and venturing out of my career focus led me further down the rabbit hole...into conflicting dreams.

If you're like me, you've gone "all out" on at least one or two different entrepreneurship or career activities.  You've poured your heart and soul into your new venture.  And maybe you achieved what you would consider a little success, but not the type you know you're capable of OR that has been achieved by others in your industry.  This has led to many instances of frustration for you.  But you're a trooper and aren't willing to give up.  And then something else plagues you to discourage you even more and dare I say, make you depressed.  You realize you're not getting any younger.  Every birthday past 35, and your lack of "making it big," is a reminder of how utterly inept you've been...but not for lack of trying!

So my friends, welcome to the world we live in, where success is measure by the size of your paycheck or how many followers you have on social media.  Tough world for the ego.  So let me give you 6 ways to help deal with your lack of success depression because trust me...I've been there and still am sometimes!

1.  So long as you got breath.  Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame didn't franchise his business until he was 65.  Grant Cardone didn't really "blow up" until his early fifties.  The adage, "age is nothing but a number," holds true here.  You're not dead yet!
2. Just keep doing what makes you happy.  If whatever you're doing makes you happy, meaning the work brings you joy, then keep doing it.  I'm gonna be your Psych here and prescribe more of the same for you.  Who cares if you "think" you're not progressing?  Keep plugging away even if you're making a sand castle one sand grain at a time.

3.  Say "No" to your coping mechanisms.  Depression leads to some undesirable physiological responses such as sugar cravings, feeling sleepy, or tired.  You have to become aware of these coping mechanisms and put them in a higher plane of consciousness so that you can stop doing them.  Replace the way you cope with mood lifting activities like exercise.  If you can't exercise, try meditation.

4.  Redefine what success looks like.  Do you measure success by the size of your paycheck or the number of steps you've climbed up the corporate?  That's part of your problem.  Measure your success by how many people you've helped or can still help.  Do you think Mother Teresa cared a rats ass how much she got paid to help the destitute?  Alter your success paradigm.  You're not here on earth to focus on titles or wealth.  You're here to help others first and if that leads to monetary success, great.  If not, you're still a great human being.

5.  Pursue a new venture.  Like they say, "Stop beating a dead horse."  Too often we do this because we can't accept our failure.  But heck, even Jesus Christ failed!  That's right, I looked it up.  It's in Matt 13:58, Mark 6:3, and Luke 14:4-30.  Failure is a part of life and you'll never be successful if you don't learn how to fail.  There is an emotional component to failure that you must get used to so you can ultimately more forward.  It goes something like this...Yay, I'm super!...Oh, I'm not so super...Oh I suck...Woe is me...Oh well, onto something new.

6.  Talk to someone.  There's nothing wrong with sharing how you feel with a confidant or even a therapist.  I see my Psych twice a year and just getting things off my chest with someone other than my wife or friends helps a whole bunch.  Talk to an older person and see what wisdom they have to offer about life.

If doing the traditional in-person session with a therapist isn't for you, consider trying online counseling.  Kaiser makes me see my Psychiatrist in person twice a year (so I get my anxiety/depression meds).  It's quite the drive to the nearest Kaiser building with a Psychology department!  Sure wish I could do my session online. 

Alright my friends, there you have it.  Success is in your mind, not anyone else's.  You can't compare yourself to others...well, you actually can, but will it be wise to do so?  It's best to follow some of my advice and get on with your life.  Stop feeling sorry for yourself.  That won't help one bit.  Take action doing one or more of the six things I recommended above.

Thanks for reading.  Until next time!

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