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Saturday, March 14, 2015

Quinceañera or Money for College?


What is a Quinceanera: History and Traditions #Hallmark #HallmarkIdeas
I had one of the most interesting days I’ve ever had in a ten year career as a high school administrator.  I actually got to have multiple mentally stimulating AND fun conversations with young ladies during Nutrition and Lunch breaks.  This is a stark contrast from my usual job of simply supervising the areas where students hang out, and having an occasional conversation with a group of students.  Though I speak to as many students as the opportunity affords, I’m not necessarily actively looking to talk to students during what’s known as “their” time.  Teenagers, as many of you know, like being away from adults and with people of their own age group, as often as permitted while at school.

But today was different.  You see, I had what I believed to be a very interesting question to ask of Latina young ladies: 

“If you had to make a choice, would you rather have a Quinceañera or money for college?”  

You should’ve seen the pensive looks and smiles on the 93 young Latinas I got around to talk to.  I’ve never seen them so engaged.  Grant it, I’m not spending all day in classrooms observing lessons.  Before I go any further, I want to explain to my non-Latino readers out there (who may not know) what a Quinceañera is.  From https://www.hallmark.com/quinceanera/ideas/what-is-a-quinceanera/:  

Quinceañera is the Spanish word for a girl who is 15 years old. Among Latinos in the United States, quinceañera also is the name given to the coming-of-age celebration on a girl’s 15th birthday.


If you read the entire hallmark page, you will see that the Quinceañera is far more complex than just simply calling it a "coming-of-age" celebration.  Like any other cultural tradition, the "Quince" in America has become more commercialized and expensive than ever before.  To the point of the celebration being as big as some weddings are!


Flower Delivery Express

Being against cultural traditions in the Latino community is dangerous.  Most of the time, people who disfavor a certain practice would rather stay silent and not be a participant rather than risk being ostracized being vocal.  But then nothing ever gets challenged this way.  This leaves the Church as the only venue for discussion of cultural traditions, where the talking is entirely done by one (male) person.  The financial nature of the Quinceañera will never be headlining a sermon.  And that's too bad for devout Latinos living in the U.S.  Luckily, I know a Mexican blogger (me) who can and will put the Quince on the table, and let people decide for themselves: Quince or Money for college?

Before I give you the results of my very informal survey, I want to share what I told these young ladies prior to letting them answer the question.  I said, "Imagine you're 14, unless you are 14, would you rather have a Quince, or money for college?  This is your own personal question, regardless of what your friends say and there's no wrong answer."  I obviously realized that some of these young ladies may have had a Quince, or were in the midst of planning one.  That's why I asked a follow-up question: "Why?"  You will find their reasons to be quite interesting.


Quince
Money for College
32
61


Quince Justification
Money for College Justification
“That’s how you grow up with your culture.”

“It’s a once in a lifetime thing.”

“It’s tradition and it brings you memories.”

“I can always save money for college after.”

“My mom wanted it.”

“It’s a big step in life.”

“Part of your heritage.”

“It’s fun!”

“I can earn money later for college from scholarships.”

“You get money as a present and you could always save it.”

“I’d rather have a party with family and friends.”

“I can always start working and earn my own money later.”

“I had too!  My mom wanted it.”
“Doesn’t bring you anything.”

“It’s just one day.”

“What if your college is really expensive?”

“It’s a waste of money.  There were people at my Quince I didn't even know."

“I had a Quince and I spent all my money.  Now I wish I hadn’t.”

“There’s always 18 and 21.”

“Money for college is more needed.”

“I want to do something with my life.”

“You need college more in life.”

“College is my future.”

“I didn’t want a Quince.”

“The party isn’t for you really.  It’s for somebody else.  You stress out!”

“Rather not have a one night party than be in debt.”

“I had one and it was fun, but it was in the moment.  I’d rather have the money for college now.”

“You can always crash someone else’s Quince!” (Ensuing laughter).

“College will allow me to support my family.”


What percentage of the U.S. Latino community can afford to give their child Both a Quince AND money for college?  Beats me.  You have to be rich and wealthy to have enough for both.  What about financial aid?  Should Latino parents rely on financial aide for their teen daughters and go through with a Quince?  My little sister, Ariana, who is 15 years younger will be graduating from San Diego State in May.  She qualified for a healthy compliment of financial aid, worked all five years part-time, and still owes $28K in student loans!"  By the way, she decided against a Quince as a 14-year-old.  College is so expensive that even receiving an optimal financial aid package won't keep a student from incurring debt.  Students with full rides are about the only ones these days getting out of college financially alive.

Though I may end up crucified for saying it…the Quince is an antiquated tradition that needs to die in the U.S. and remain in Latin America.  What's the message of a Quince?  If you behave (not have sex, get good grades, do what we ask of you, etc.) one day we'll throw you a party where you get to dress up like a princess and have your own special day.  And how is the Quince validated over the course of the young lady's life?  Mom gets to share pictures of her Quince.  Tia Maria gets to do the same.  The older cousins, Tania, Bertha, and Elizabeth, who all had a Quince, get in on the indoctrination action.  By the time the young lady, Quince to be, reaches 14, she's a nervous, anxious, mess.  Either she can't wait for her party or she can't wait for her party to come and go.

Look, I appreciate cultural traditions and have been to many Quince parties.  My older sister, Claudia, in fact had a Quince.  I was often invited while a teacher in San Jose, to be in attendance at a pupil's Quince fiesta.  So I'm not going to get in anyone's face and tell them that instead of spending money on a Quince, they should have designated the savings for their daughter's college fund.  And if college isn't happening, then save it for the wedding! However, maybe the U.S. Latino community should take the time to talk about how our cultural traditions shape the minds of our children and whether or not they cause more harm than good for our people.  Somebody get a hold of Jorge Ramos!



4 comments:

  1. My dad, a pastor, no longer performs quinceañera ceremonies. He came to the sad realization that for many, it was almost like a tacit consent to get pregnant & quit school. Like clockwork, 9 months later, out came a baby. Just like the horrible "tradition" of kidnapping a teen bride, the parents pretended to be upset at first, but later got all caught up in wedding preparations. He'll gladly bless high school graduations, but that's it.

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  2. Que bueno Xiomarita. Good for your dad for having sound principles. Thanks for sharing!

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