Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Is Teaching Financial Self-Reliance A Lost Parental Art?

It certainly appears as if more and more soon to be adults are close to being worthless when it comes to being able to survive on their own.  Sorry to be so blunt.

Teens these days can't do many things Generation X'ers and Baby Boomers learned from their parents as they came of age.  Things like checking their car's oil.  Hooking up battery cables correctly for a charge without killing themselves.  Mailing a letter.  Making themselves a meal.  Talking to adults.  Resolving their own conflicts.  The list of inabilities goes on and on.  The blame falls squarely on helicopter and enabling parents.  These well-intentioned but erroneous child rearers end up producing adults with entitlement issues.  Adults like some of these Millennials:

Raking In Money From Parents

I just can fathom it.  Maybe it is because I grew up poor and asking my parents for money was like slapping them in the face.  I think I stopped asking my parents for money around 10.  Through college, their "Parental Contribution" to my educational costs was somewhere around $500 (I never asked for this money, it was offered), that's both Undergrad and Graduate school.  Did I have to take up loans?  Yes.  Did I work during college?  Yes, every summer.

Maybe it is a racial thing, and I hope this isn't off putting to you but…

When former poor Latinos rise above their humble beginnings to an economic level above their parents, the roles reverse.  That's right.  We give our parents money!  Not the other way around.  Just think, you have already spent like $200K on your kid by the time they are 18.  They owe you!

Are White parents more inclined to give their millennial children money than parents of color?

Alas, there was no ethnic breakdown reported for these 1000 surveyed millennials.  Also, 1000 is statistically acceptable, but I would've liked to have seen the survey given to 10,000 millennials.

Ask yourself this, mom, or dad:

If you were to unexpectedly die tomorrow, how would your offspring(s) fare?  Would they manage without you?

The article suggested that an explanation for parents giving their millennials money, even when there was no economic need, had to do with proximity and a strong bond:

According to a White House report released last month “millennials have close relationships with their parents” with roughly half saying that it is important to them to live close to their friends and family, compared to 29% of baby boomers and 40% of Generation Xers. These close relationships may further foster the giving of money even to well-to-do millennials, particularly for those who live close to their families.

Mom/Dad…what is going on here?  Are you avoiding separation anxiety from your adult child by rewarding him/her with money for sticking around?  This is bad.  Really bad!

Well-to-do millennial…1) Why are you asking your parents for money?  If you're not asking, why are you taking it?  2)  Why is it important for you to live close to your friends and family if you are married, have a family of your own, and have no need for the added financial safety net of mom and dad?

The repercussions of a parent not learning to stop the monetary charity to their millennial child (who is in no need of money) is a dire one.  You won't have enough money for yourself in retirement!  Tell your child this: "Son, your mom and I have to stop giving you money because otherwise we'll become a burden to you in our old age."

Teaching Financial (or general) Self-Reliance May Perhaps Be A Lost Parental Art

It really scares me to see how weak many of the young adults I work with are in terms of survivability.  If you must know, I'm not referring to the street savvy, low-income kid.  I'm talking middle-class child that has mommy or daddy come to the rescue for every little thing.  These iPhone 6 having, brand clothes wearing, new car driving, teens are not only spoiled in many other ways, but lack major self-reliance skills.  When it comes to money, they know where to get it and not how to earn it.

If you see the danger in all of this like I do, I suggest you learn different parenting skills.  I can help you, if you simply ask.  I can show you how to raise a winner, meaning, a self-reliant, money savvy person that is ready for adulthood without your constant emotional or financial support.  Email me for a free opinion on your particular situation.  calilimexica@gmail.com

There's also this guy named, Kevin T. Fagan, CEO of Guerrillaparenting.com  You may have heard of him.  He's got like eight kids and they're all relatively self-reliant.  We need more parenting done like Mr. Fagan.  The substance and character of our nation depends on it!

Thanks for reading as always. 

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